My 2012 Summary

To Everyone:

This year was an interesting year of sorts. It saw more tears from me then if you lined up all my previous 31 years combined.  This year’s path took many different twists and turns and ended in a way I would have never anticipated. I moved to IT (IT really???), I am working reduced hours, I am finally getting organized (in my home life), I participated in my first ever Crossfit competition (as a non-competitor), finally hit the half way mark to getting my MBA.

To my children….

Michael - This was a great year from you – you turned 2!!!!  There were lots of tears as we worked through your diagnosis and tears after worrying that I would somehow not be everything you needed.   When we started that journey we never could have anticipated the outcome – I was confident it was going to be issues with your ears (similar to Austin).  You have reminded me of what is truly important in this world and I know will teach me more about life then I will ever teach you. I am excited to be on this journey with you and know that together you will achieve whatever dreams you create for yourself.  You are an amazing addition to our life,  you have an infectious laugh, boundless energy and continue to amaze us with your resourcefulness in being able to “do it yourself.” I am excited to take on 2013 to continue to see you grow and you have some amazing things in store…like preschool!!!

Austin -  we have cried as we broke the news of Michael and again some more when pushing you to be the best person you can be.  I know we push you (kind of the nature of things as parents) and it can be tough. I am sure when talking to your friends whose parents maybe don’t push that much you are upset and wonder how you got stuck with us.  What you have to know more than anything in this world is we push you because we love you, we push you because we want to make sure there is not one door closed to you, we push you because you have amazing potential (athletically and educationally), we push you because you have a ton to offer and at 13 that is difficult to understand and even more difficult to use that as motivation, we push you because we want to help you achieve your dreams (even the ones you aren’t sure of yet.)  We push – and someday we can only hope that you will understand the reasoning and thank us. Until then, we probably have some more difficult conversations in our future.

Gabby - we have laughed and started to put you in-time out. Where you were once an easy child you now challenge us with your individuality and your strong personality (and opinions).  I am excited to see you continue your journey and for you to take on the world because, Ms. Lady it is all yours for the taking!!!! You have been and will continue to be an amazing blessing.  The relationship you have with Michael since you are so close in age is like no one else. You bring him out of his shell and force him to interact and engage with you unlike anyone else  –even though this sometimes means pulling his hair to get his attention.  This year you turned 1!!! And had some amazing firsts – like first vacation, first time at the beach, first steps, first words, etc. !!!  In this list is also first hitting, first scowl, first hair pulling, etc. (thus now you see why  you have also had your first time out).

Friends & Family – What can I say???  this is definitely my one area of focus to improve on next year. With a crazy busy schedule etc. we definitely don’t put nearly the effort we should in maintaining meaningful relationships.  Not to say that we don’t have any but, we could absolutely be better supportive, caring, …. Friends and family members. Not that we don’t think about it but, it always ends up being that one thing at the end of the day that gets pushed to the list for the next day, and so-on and so-on.  Next year we will work on it and hopefully begin to make strides at being more what we would like to be for those in our lives that matter (and not just those under the same roof as us).

Lastly, there were tears for children we didn’t even know. At the end of this year there was a tragic event which will hopefully someday be in history books as a pivotal moment for us citizens of the US; one where lessoned were finally learned, actions taken and repeat events eliminated.  Right now that continues to be the hope.

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy and adventurous 2013!!!!

Missing loved ones

During the holidays there is always a recognition and reminder of loved ones that are no longer here to celebrate the holidays.  On top of these moments, there are all types of moments where I miss my Nana.  Going through this experience with Michael has made me long for her voice more than the occasional fleeting moment. She always had the right thing to say.  This of course isn’t the first hill I have encountered in my life and every time there was something there it was her advice and perspective that helped me feel confident in my own ability to climb whatever hill I was facing.

I know in these past months she would have been able to sum up everything that needed to be said in just a few sentences. She would have said just the right thing that would help me become grounded it would have been compassionate, understanding, supportive but, mostly just real.  I know my longing for her now more vividly then ever is really me feeling her love and support.

Changes...

Wow it has been a while since posting anything and a lot has changed since then.  One of the most important changes I have made was making the decision to stay home during the day Monday – Thursday.  This removed the need to find a “perfect” nanny and gives me a little more control on what goes on during the day with both Gabriella and Michael.

We have begun therapy with Michael and at this point are neck deep in it (having therapy 4 days a week in 2 hour increments).  We have also introduced him to gymnastics class. Where other than circle time he loves it!!! I caught him tonight working on his somersaults and cartwheels on the couch (and of course the trampoline is his favorite).

Gabby is also making great progress. Her vocabulary continues to grow and with all the reinforcement activities we are working on with Michael she of course enjoys doing them as well and is picking up on things quickly. This is great because there are times where Michael actually mirrors her as a peer model (and of course vice versa).  Every week it is amazing to watch the dynamic between them continue to evolve.

For Austin, well lets say 13 isn’t my favorite age. He is going through the typical challenges every teenager goes through and it requires lots of good conversation of making the right decision for you, sticking up for yourself and what good friends are – which mostly are ones that want you to succeed. I have a feeling this year and next year will be two challenging years for us (mostly him) so hopefully after that we can settle into the “teenage” years with some sense of a routine.