My 2012 Summary

To Everyone:

This year was an interesting year of sorts. It saw more tears from me then if you lined up all my previous 31 years combined.  This year’s path took many different twists and turns and ended in a way I would have never anticipated. I moved to IT (IT really???), I am working reduced hours, I am finally getting organized (in my home life), I participated in my first ever Crossfit competition (as a non-competitor), finally hit the half way mark to getting my MBA.

To my children….

Michael - This was a great year from you – you turned 2!!!!  There were lots of tears as we worked through your diagnosis and tears after worrying that I would somehow not be everything you needed.   When we started that journey we never could have anticipated the outcome – I was confident it was going to be issues with your ears (similar to Austin).  You have reminded me of what is truly important in this world and I know will teach me more about life then I will ever teach you. I am excited to be on this journey with you and know that together you will achieve whatever dreams you create for yourself.  You are an amazing addition to our life,  you have an infectious laugh, boundless energy and continue to amaze us with your resourcefulness in being able to “do it yourself.” I am excited to take on 2013 to continue to see you grow and you have some amazing things in store…like preschool!!!

Austin -  we have cried as we broke the news of Michael and again some more when pushing you to be the best person you can be.  I know we push you (kind of the nature of things as parents) and it can be tough. I am sure when talking to your friends whose parents maybe don’t push that much you are upset and wonder how you got stuck with us.  What you have to know more than anything in this world is we push you because we love you, we push you because we want to make sure there is not one door closed to you, we push you because you have amazing potential (athletically and educationally), we push you because you have a ton to offer and at 13 that is difficult to understand and even more difficult to use that as motivation, we push you because we want to help you achieve your dreams (even the ones you aren’t sure of yet.)  We push – and someday we can only hope that you will understand the reasoning and thank us. Until then, we probably have some more difficult conversations in our future.

Gabby - we have laughed and started to put you in-time out. Where you were once an easy child you now challenge us with your individuality and your strong personality (and opinions).  I am excited to see you continue your journey and for you to take on the world because, Ms. Lady it is all yours for the taking!!!! You have been and will continue to be an amazing blessing.  The relationship you have with Michael since you are so close in age is like no one else. You bring him out of his shell and force him to interact and engage with you unlike anyone else  –even though this sometimes means pulling his hair to get his attention.  This year you turned 1!!! And had some amazing firsts – like first vacation, first time at the beach, first steps, first words, etc. !!!  In this list is also first hitting, first scowl, first hair pulling, etc. (thus now you see why  you have also had your first time out).

Friends & Family – What can I say???  this is definitely my one area of focus to improve on next year. With a crazy busy schedule etc. we definitely don’t put nearly the effort we should in maintaining meaningful relationships.  Not to say that we don’t have any but, we could absolutely be better supportive, caring, …. Friends and family members. Not that we don’t think about it but, it always ends up being that one thing at the end of the day that gets pushed to the list for the next day, and so-on and so-on.  Next year we will work on it and hopefully begin to make strides at being more what we would like to be for those in our lives that matter (and not just those under the same roof as us).

Lastly, there were tears for children we didn’t even know. At the end of this year there was a tragic event which will hopefully someday be in history books as a pivotal moment for us citizens of the US; one where lessoned were finally learned, actions taken and repeat events eliminated.  Right now that continues to be the hope.

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy and adventurous 2013!!!!

Missing loved ones

During the holidays there is always a recognition and reminder of loved ones that are no longer here to celebrate the holidays.  On top of these moments, there are all types of moments where I miss my Nana.  Going through this experience with Michael has made me long for her voice more than the occasional fleeting moment. She always had the right thing to say.  This of course isn’t the first hill I have encountered in my life and every time there was something there it was her advice and perspective that helped me feel confident in my own ability to climb whatever hill I was facing.

I know in these past months she would have been able to sum up everything that needed to be said in just a few sentences. She would have said just the right thing that would help me become grounded it would have been compassionate, understanding, supportive but, mostly just real.  I know my longing for her now more vividly then ever is really me feeling her love and support.

Changes...

Wow it has been a while since posting anything and a lot has changed since then.  One of the most important changes I have made was making the decision to stay home during the day Monday – Thursday.  This removed the need to find a “perfect” nanny and gives me a little more control on what goes on during the day with both Gabriella and Michael.

We have begun therapy with Michael and at this point are neck deep in it (having therapy 4 days a week in 2 hour increments).  We have also introduced him to gymnastics class. Where other than circle time he loves it!!! I caught him tonight working on his somersaults and cartwheels on the couch (and of course the trampoline is his favorite).

Gabby is also making great progress. Her vocabulary continues to grow and with all the reinforcement activities we are working on with Michael she of course enjoys doing them as well and is picking up on things quickly. This is great because there are times where Michael actually mirrors her as a peer model (and of course vice versa).  Every week it is amazing to watch the dynamic between them continue to evolve.

For Austin, well lets say 13 isn’t my favorite age. He is going through the typical challenges every teenager goes through and it requires lots of good conversation of making the right decision for you, sticking up for yourself and what good friends are – which mostly are ones that want you to succeed. I have a feeling this year and next year will be two challenging years for us (mostly him) so hopefully after that we can settle into the “teenage” years with some sense of a routine.

What a great weekend!!!!!!

We had such an amazing weekend this weekend!! We spent time at the park where the one who ended up being limited in being able to run freely was Gabby not Michael. He stuck around and other than one little wandering incident a little too close to the swings for myself and the parents pushing their kids he did amazing! 

This was followed the next day by some time at JumpZone where Michael is absolutely in heaven. Actually, both him and Gabby did very well until the last 15 minutes or so where exhaustion set in.

Then finally on Sunday we worked with some of Michael’s favorite iPad apps for his vocabulary work!! He did absolutely amazing! He said words I have never heard him say before. Like bicycle, police car, ambulance…of course not as clear as you and I but, they were distinct new words. This combined with the other progress of words returning is such a reason to continue to hope that with the right level of intervention we will be able to successfully pull him out of his “fog” more often than I feel we are able to do right now. 

We are counting…again!!

One of Michael’s early skills which we lost was his ability to count to 10.  We haven’t made it all the way back to 10 but, he is back counting after brushing his teeth before he jumps down from the counter (of course with me holding his hands.) I always say, “1, 2, 3 JUUUUMP!” lately he has taken over the “1, 2, 3 again.” Then he counted letters on Pete’s shirt early in the week up to 4 and today as we were adding balls into a toy we were counting and he made it up to 6.  I was more impressed with the counting up to 6 especially since I was only counting up to 4!! Just more proof that all the words he has used in the past are in there somewhere it is just a matter of helping to pull them all back out!!

Michael’s Plan

We met with Michael’s coordinator to create his therapy plan. After setting his goals, and reviewing his assessment --we created his plan.  We are starting with three to four days a week of various therapies (Speech, OT, Behavioral,) with the ability to add or take away depending on how receptive he is and how much progress he makes. With all the reading out there at least I feel like this is getting us starting from here on it is going to be trial and error to figure out what works.

Our coordinator didn’t take but, two steps outside before I thought, “How am I going to do this with work?” Second thought; “What a crappy thought that is to have,” third; “god what a horrible parent I am for thinking about work and not Michael.” Luckly, I am past it now and realize all these thoughts must are normal and typical (not an impression of how good or bad I am as a parent).

I am excited to get started. At least I will feel like we will be moving forward, so far it has felt like we have been stalled. We start this month and have 6 people on “Our Team” which will be working closely with Michael.  Stay tuned on what we hope to be progress or at least help slow down the regression we are seeing.

Overtired

Most days I am lucky to get 5 – 6 hours of sleep. Which in all honesty for me is plenty but, lately I am lucky if I am catching 2—3 hours of sleep. As a result my patience is thin and I have had this sense of feeling sorry for myself.  Gabby is teething badly and as a result she is up at night usually around 12 and 2, 4. Michael has learned to climb out of his crib (which physically he has been able to do for a while but, I think the thought just never occurred to him). As a result it is nearly impossible to get him down and it results in him cuddling in my bed with me to go to sleep (around 10).   He would sleep soundly but, since Gabby gets up he ultimately ends up wide-awake at 2:00 ready to jump, run and play.

I attempted to put it in the right context lately that we are fortunate to have two children that love to snuggle and sleep with us. Some day these days will seem like a distant memory and we will be wishing for them back.  For now I will try to keep that concept in the forefront of my mind but, it would be amazing to at least get one night of sleep weekly to make up for all the nights we spend cuddling in a bed that is too small for four.

Tough Realization

Today we went for a visit to a school specifically for children with autism.  It took everything in me to not break down in tears several times.  I fortunately held it together for the tour.  Today was another tough realization that ‘autism’ is something that is not within my control. It is also not something (although I wish it was) that I can fix.  Although, I know there are millions of parents out there that are faced with greater adversity adjusting to the fact that my child has challenges in front of him that I can’t just solve for him is a difficult realization and something I am still struggling with accepting. 

He is such a happy, fun loving child it was tough to look at the children today and realize that he won’t keep pace with his peers -- and that, that gap will only continue to grow as he gets older.  It is double upsetting that he won’t have 100% control over what he achieves or accomplishes in his life.  That he will be there with his diagnosis dealing with it every day for the rest of his life.  There is part of me that still hopes when we go back to test his ears in a couple months we will learn that this is all just a big mistake (sadly my brain knows that this won’t be the case). 

It is tough as a parent to know that there is a barrier (hill to climb, challenge, etc.) that I cannot just move out of his way.

Ok – that is enough of the pity party for today. Some days are good and others are harder. Chalk today up to a hard day.

Amazing multi-taskers?!?

Women, moms in general are amazing multi-taskers or are we?

Lately, at work I feel like the little engine that could – but, instead of going up the hill I am slowly rolling backwards down.  Now don’t get me wrong I enjoy my job and am challenging more developmentally and just plain old mentally then I have in a long-time. That being said I feel like I am running at mach 10 but, oddly enough not moving anywhere.

There isn’t a meeting I am in that I am preparing for the next meeting or wrapping up from a previous meeting.  I am not alone all of us in these “meetings” take them the same way. I am making a resolution for next week to see how long I can last without multi-tasking. I think this will force me to do two things:

1.       Really evaluate my meeting schedule. If I think I can multi-task an entire meeting, do I really need to be in the meeting?

2.       Focus! Although I think we are all probably decent at multi-tasking I am truly beginning to believe that none of us are as good as we think. A whole bunch of people in a meeting not focused on the meeting itself results in what??!?! Normally a lot of follow-up meetings to actually resolve this issue.

Wish, me luck because as I glance at my schedule for next week I have nearly 6 hours of meetings daily. So I will either, break my resolution by the end of the day Monday or not get any work done.

Magical Moments!!

Amidst everything that is going on there are still moments that are amazingly magical. Today, we had two of those moments with Michael.

Pete arrived home about 5 minutes before I did (today was our meeting to create our therapy plan).  When he came home Michael said "Daddy" not once but, three times. Part of me is sad to have missed it but, another part of me knows I probably would have been a teary mess if I was. Other than when Michael was just over a year he has not even uttered the words "Mama" or "Dada" when referring to either one of us.  Then about 30 minutes into our planning meeting Michael climbed on my lap and nestled in as is typical when he is tired (we are fortunate that he is an amazing cuddler and LOVES it!) and looked at me and gave me a kiss. My second this week!!! Earlier this week it was at about 3 AM when I couldn't get him to go back to sleep.   It is amazing that admist all that is going on it is almost as if he sense our stress and is reaching out to us to let us know things will be ok.  I know that probably isn't possible but, I am in love with the idea of it!  I am thankful for the amazing magical moments we get to enjoy with him and am looking forward to all the ones yet to come.

Up on my Pedestal

So although I don’t plan on using this as a forum to talk about political items or government policies or those sorts of things……. I am going to use this as a moment to talk about our recent experience with Insurance.  Until this year other than myself we have been under Pete’s insurance the coverage is comparable to mine but, the cost is about 75% cut from mine.  We are also fortunate enough to be working for two companies that provide good insurance -- even at a cost.

During Michael’s assessment our coordinators encouraged us to call our Insurance carriers to figure out the type of insurance plan we had and if it was self-funded.  In our dazed look that we must have been projecting they continued to go on to explain to us why this was important.  They explained, that to-date most states have mandated coverage of therapy for autistic children.  Although this is mandated coverage in CT, if the plan is self-funded the company has discretion on what they cover. One of these “optional” items includes therapy for autistic children.  Lucky for us we are in the middle of open enrollment so Pete started by making his calls. We learned his plan was self-funded. Upon further research we were able to find out that it is exactly the services we need, that they need that they consider “optional” and not covered.  Although my plan is self-funded, lucky for us they do cover services for autistic children including therapy with OT, PT, BT, etc.  Just at a much larger expense (about 200% higher than we were paying).

So circling back to my first line. In a country that is prosperous, named  “the land of opportunity” it is absolutely atrocious that proven medical conditions and medical science is not evenly available – especially when children are involved. As I think of people in our lives that faced with the denial of coverage or inability to absorb the extra expense that they would not have the same level of intense care that we are obtaining. I also feel fortunate that we are lucky enough that one of us has insurance to cover what we need, and double lucky that we have the financial ability to absorb our increase in costs to get Michael what he needs – but, it should never come to that.

Today I exercised my vote…

Whoops!! That isn’t what I meant

So I read an article recently that made me realize I have been saying it all wrong.  Michael isn’t autistic he has autism.  The changing of how I am communicating this may just be a switch of words but, the impact to that message is important. 

It also helps me put this into perspective that we have a great opportunity to leverage all the strengths that autism will provide him with that he may not otherwise have had, and we will be his strength in helping him overcome the challenges ahead.

Austin’s budding baseball career!

This week we had Austin’s first parent meeting with what will be his new baseball team.  During the meeting we learned about all the training that will take place and the overall level of commitment required. It definitely has me feeling a little overwhelmed so we have been talking it through to make sure it is something Austin definitely wants to do.

It is amazing how far sports have come from the days of just playing in your town, then for your school. Now to stay competitive to even play at the High School level so much more is needed from kids from both a mental and physical commitment.  We are definitely not in the business of creating a professional athlete – that is 100% up to Austin to decide if he wants it bad enough to give it that level of commitment. Hopefully, athletics will continue to teach him the values of teamwork, hard work and commitment.  In today’s world when everyone is so quick to say how we are hurting the younger generation by always giving trophies – Austin knows too well what it feels like to get benched, lose or not make the cut.  Hopefully, it will continue to build his character and create a well-rounded adult on the other side.

A Sheep says ..WHAT?!?!!?

One of the most enjoyable moments of being a parent of a one-year old is teaching first words. I tend start with animal noises because it seems to take part of their natural mumbling and transfer them easily into something more meaningful. Right now one of the most enjoyable things we do with Gabby is get her to say “What does a Sheep /Cow/Lion say?”  In addition, we of course are teaching other words like “Bye.” Just past week “Bye” went from “Baa” to “Bye.” Of course though that also means that the sheep went from “Baa” to “Bye” when he talks!!! We will get her to straighten it out but, it is so fun to watch how much children change in such a short time. Just 14 months ago she was born – now we are walking, playing with Michael and learning words!! Although she is our third the miracle of children and their development still amazes me!

Moments

There are so many moments that parents wait for from the moment they find out they are expecting. They wait for the moment their child is born and all the first that follows. The first time they give that great belly laugh, the first time they roll over, crawl, take a step, etc.  In these moments are also included the first time your child calls utters “mama” or “dada” – and eventually “I love you.”

I have realized as a parent of a 13-year old many of these moments for him have past and now just getting him to give a hug is an accomplishment. With Michael these are moments I had hoped to have by now but, know that we will eventually have in the future.  I have also realized there are a lot things we take for granted as parents. Like teaching kids to show affection and “give kisses.” 

I have had two times with Michael where it was as if the fog was lifted and he realized who I was. In that moment he took full advantage and gave me a kiss – a nice lips puckered kiss. I of course invade his space daily and give him kisses but, always with nothing in return!! 

There are still plenty of moments I look forward in sharing with him  - I love to watch him read, I love listening to him sing in the car and probably most enjoyable I love watching him play with Gabby after their bath and before bed. He gets her to chase him and then he throws himself on the floor so she can tickle him. She is still learning her role in this game – but it is so fun to see them enjoy each other. 

A Boiling Pot

I realized this week that I will need to learn to be more comfortable living as a boiling pot of water. “What do you mean?” you ask.  Well I use this analogy because, it finally happened this week. I broke down in a meeting for no good reason.  I knew the tears were inevitable and just sitting back waiting for the right moment to decide to show. I could feel it bubbling up but, I just couldn’t think of a good reason to excuse myself. I tried drinking water, etc. but – it was inevitable.  Lucky, for me it was just “us girls.” Mostly, I think it was as a result of having a minute to just sit and think...I have been so busy up until that moment there hasn't been an opportunity for me to reflect on everything.

Up until this point in my life I felt like I had managed stress, motherhood, being a wife ok – even sometimes well. I have realized that before now I was a pot of water – but probably on medium with no cover. Now, I am a pot of water still on medium but, someone has placed the cover on that pot. Result: the occasional moments where I bubble up enough that something has to spill over to make sure the majority of me stays upright.  I know as we figure out what this new life means to us and begin to feel the ground under our feet again --  it will get easier.

For now, I am fortunate enough to have a boss that understands me and knows that my random ‘emotional-ness’ is not due to work specifically but, really figuring out how to adjust to this new path.  

Working the Plan!!!

So now that we know what we are dealing with, with Michael it is time to start working the plan. The social worker that evaluated Michael left us with a first 100 day plan. In addition, we have also received advice from parents of children with special needs. One of the most valuable probably has been – “Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself. It doesn’t help anything and remember this is happening to him not you.”

This week:

• Told Austin and our parents
• Posted an ad for Michael and Gabby’s new nanny
• Created a schedule for the both of them that will start to outline the new way of life during the day
• Enjoyed each kid independently for at least 2 hours!!!

 That being said we have our tasks for the week:

• Add him to the waiting list of several Developmental Pediatricians
• Call and notify Austin’s Guidance counselor (just in case)
• Schedule our Tour for the CREC Autism Program/School
• Continue to enjoy each kid independently for at least 2 hours!!
• Give Austin the responsibility of tracking our family via video

What lies ahead for sure is a rollercoaster of good and bad times – but so far this week I think we have been so busy, getting ourselves organized that there was just no time for tears.

One-on-One Time!!

Michael was apparently exhausted tonight and Austin had baseball and hockey – so it was just the ladies tonight!!! I need some serious 1:1 time with my Miss. Gabby. Although I get to sneak it here and there on the weekend when nap time doesn’t completely overlap, tonight I had a full 2 hours of it!!!

It is definitely a reminder of how important and precious that one-on-one time with all the kids is especially with three of them.  I am setting a goal next year to use at least 1 full day of PTO per month to spend one-on-one time with all three (at different times obviously). I am thinking most of the time I will break it into 2 half days - but in all honesty I can't think of a better way to spend 12 days of PTO!! 

Pivotal Moments

Life is full of pivotal moments that change the course or the direction we thought we were headed for.  I have been fortunate enough to have some of these both positive and negative that have resulted in several “course corrections.” 

Yesterday, was one of those moments for us as a family.  It was the day we learned we received Michael’s diagnosis. Michael is autistic. Before today, I was confident I would be a complete mess once the words were actually uttered – I was surprising calm.  A sense of finally having an answer and knowing that we will begin down a different path for him – one that better meets his needs and helps him reach his fullest potential is actually comforting. I know in front of us the hills will be higher than we ever thought but, I know together there is nothing we can’t overcome (or in this case adapt to).

T-Minus 14 Hours

Tomorrow is the day for us. We have Creative Interventions coming over in the morning to play (or rather assess) Michael. I have been surprisingly relaxed the last couple of days. It may be that we were just crazy busy but, hopefully it is that I am coming to peace with whatever the outcome is.  I am a true believer in both everything happens for a reason as well as, we are not given anything we can't handle. This is just an experience that is definitely forcing us to see a new side of ourselves.

More to come...

My emotional rollercoaster

The added stress of not knowing yet with Michael combined with what I anticipate the outcome to be has resulted in an overwhelming amount of emotion constantly. I feel like if the wind blows a certain way it could result in uncontrollable tears pouring out.

Point in case, I cried during the first episode of the Housewives of NJ when Jacqueline described what she was going through with her youngest son. I ended up in tears in the basement for no apparent reason at all. On my way into work tears, as I write this tears. Pete so nicely reminded me that we don’t even have any answers yet and first and foremost it is my job to be strong for Michael.  So many parents deal with so much worse than we are dealing with and I try to keep reminding myself of that.  We have our AMAZING son who is the most fun in the world to play with, has an infectious laugh, and continues to surprise us on a daily basis.

By reading this you may think I am just an emotional person but, for those of you who don’t know me I pretty much am not. I am not a crier not until recently anyway.  I think the challenge right now of staying being the best mom I can to all of our kids while going through this journey with Michael is just requiring a new level of strength from me that right now I don’t know if I am capable of.  I know ultimately I am and eventually will look back and think how foolish of me – it would just be nice to get to the other side sooner rather than later.

My role as a student!

Last week was so crazy at work that on Tuesday (my first day of class) I actually didn’t leave work until 6:15. I was just so happy to be leaving and heading home that I totally forgot about class until 3 AM the following morning.

Yesterday, I remembered that I had class so I did make it and was on-time.  When it comes to getting your MBA I almost wish I could just pay whatever they want and they would give me the certificate. All courses are helpful and do provide insight but, the mass amount of courses needed are so hard to juggle with everything else.  My advice: Get your MBA prior to kids!

Glimmer!!

Michael was amazing yesterday there are days where I feel like he seems more of a "late talker" than anything. He was so much fun yesterday laughing and making eye contact at a more frequent rate I am thinking maybe we are worried about nothing.   Next week definitely can't come quick enough!  If anything it was a GREAT reminder on just what a FANTASTIC, FUN, ENERGETIC kid he is and that regardless of our outcome it is that spirit that we need to enable him to maintain.

Today was a better day for me stress-wise then most days lately. I think luckily I was so busy at work there was not much time for outside thoughts.

What a fantastic WEEKEND!!!!!

Austin

Our first weekend of hockey this weekend resulted in 4 goals and 1 assist!!! What a great way to start our new season and a great confidence booster to Austin. It is fun to watch him play when he truly is loving the sport! He stick handled around the other team several times – and no penalties!! That alone is a good thing.

Michael

Two stories Michael has loved since he was 6 months old has been “Mr. Brown can Moo! Can You?” and “Go Baby Go.” This weekend he actually took both books from me after reading and flipped through himself to read it! Of course most of his talking is like babbling but, there is enough in there to know that he not only knows the page he is looking at but, understands most of what he is talking about. Between the inflections in his voice and the occasional recognizable word it is great to see him wanting to do it on his own. I have to try to capture it on film because it not only fun to watch him read but, just as enjoyable to watch Gabby stand with him as if he is reading to her.  In fact, they did a pretty great job this weekend of ‘co-playing.’

Gabby

Right now one of the “funiest” things to do with Gabby is tell her to give someone else kisses. On top of that she is working on learning her words and tries new words every day. I still don’t know that she calls Pete and I distinctively “Mama” and “Dada” which makes me feel we must be doing something wrong but, we will keep working on it.  I do know that “Ma, Ma, Ma” does generally only get uttered when she wants my attention but, to have her say it on command is a waste of time.

Goals for the week ahead:

• Go apple and pumpkin picking!!!
• Try a new recipe
• Celebrate our 4th Anniversary and for a moment even just enjoy being a wife

Lost Time

I lose hours on a daily basis almost just reading. Although we don't have a diagnosis for Michael yet I feel like I know what is coming and he is more than likely autistic. To help myself hopefully cope with that once the words are spoken I read about it - a lot.  I can't imagine how much time I will lose daily if that is the diagnosis.

What I am finding though is there is just no good answers.  I really want something that says - do this and do that and you will get the best result for your child.   We have started to take steps to remove gluten from his diet and have limited background noises when he is awake to nothing. I think he is starting to babble more but, in all honesty I don't know if he is or if I just want him to be. 

Part of me still hopes that we find out he is in the 10% of kids that are just late talkers and then we can proceed as normal once we get him talking.   If that is the case I have obtained a whole new respect for parents of autistic children and how frustrating it must be to really not have the answers you need or want. Instead they are having to constantly "pilot" new things with their child to see what gets them best result.

When Austin was little he had ear infections from the time he was 15 months old straight through 23 months old. We were at the doctor every other week for antibiotics and as a result he also had delayed speech. The difference though was we knew why, except for a little difference of opinion between his pediatricians, I was told - he needs tubes.  So I had a problem and a clear direction on how to fix it.  It worked! Not only did he stop having ear infections but, his speech picked up rapidly so he was within the normal range.  With Michael I am still searching for that clear direction.

Our Crazy Weekends!!

Austin (our oldest) is at anytime playing 1+ sports during the year.  This time of year is no different with Fall Baseball and Hockey (and the occasional round of golf!).  Today started with a 9 AM baseball practice followed by a 3 PM away hockey game. 

Accomplishments of the day included a improved swing in baseball and 2 goals in hockey! Yippee!!! Opportunity of the day - more work on pitching now that we are on the bigger field. 

With the two little ones it is difficult to take them everywhere so I pick and choose. Today I did baseball in the morning and tomorrow I will do the home hockey game.  Even picking and choosing doesn't always result in a well watched game. Michael ran around the track next to the baseball field today and probably put in at least one mile - he absolutely loves running!!!

Had the opportunity to watch Michael play with Gabby today (rather than just be annoyed with her as she chases him around the house). It is funny to see how early in life the younger sibling being perceived as a pest starts.  He pushed her in their car around the basement and then folded up a piece of paper as a hat on her head after they were done coloring. 

Our Late Talker

One of the primary reasons I decided it was time to start a blog was so that we could track Michael's progress. At about 18 months (he is now 28 months) Michael was classified as a "late talker." At that point he was still social enough to rule out concerns of something more serious.

Finally, at 26 months following about a month of attempting to force him to use words we have seen him use in the past we decided it was time we had someone take a closer look. We started with having his ears tested. The test at this point was hearing in a room with speakers. The result was although his hearing may not be 100% it is not "bad enough to be contributing to late speech."

We moved onto the next step which was having him evaluated by Birth-to-three. Fortunately, or not so fortunately he qualified for services. Since our meeting on 8/31 we have outlined services he will recieve, completed an extended m-chat and scheduled a more in-depth evaluation to either rule in or rule out autism.  All-in-all it is a stressful experience so far and nothing makes you feel like worse of a parent through this exercise.  It makes you question everything:

• Did we wait too long and miss signs that we should have been pursuing earlier?
• Are we not pushing to have his hearing evaluated to truly rule it out?
• Are we sure it isn't food intolerances?
• Am I just not singing enough nursey rhymes or reading enough?
• Did I eat something during his pregnancy I shouldn't have?
• Did we introduce Gabby too quickly?

The list goes on-and-on-and-on. My head spins with so many questions throughout everyday and unfortunately there is just no answer at this point. 

Getting Started!

My little ones!!



Welcome to my journey through life!!! I am sure there will be bumps and bruises as I get familar with documenting my lessons as a mom, wife and full-time worker. Right now what is motivating me to begin to capture our journey is the uniqueness of each of our children and how quickly their life's are progressing.