The added stress of not knowing yet with Michael combined with what I anticipate the outcome to be has resulted in an overwhelming amount of emotion constantly. I feel like if the wind blows a certain way it could result in uncontrollable tears pouring out.
Point in case, I cried during the first episode of the Housewives of NJ when Jacqueline described what she was going through with her youngest son. I ended up in tears in the basement for no apparent reason at all. On my way into work tears, as I write this tears. Pete so nicely reminded me that we don’t even have any answers yet and first and foremost it is my job to be strong for Michael. So many parents deal with so much worse than we are dealing with and I try to keep reminding myself of that. We have our AMAZING son who is the most fun in the world to play with, has an infectious laugh, and continues to surprise us on a daily basis.
By reading this you may think I am just an emotional person but, for those of you who don’t know me I pretty much am not. I am not a crier not until recently anyway. I think the challenge right now of staying being the best mom I can to all of our kids while going through this journey with Michael is just requiring a new level of strength from me that right now I don’t know if I am capable of. I know ultimately I am and eventually will look back and think how foolish of me – it would just be nice to get to the other side sooner rather than later.
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