Changing Perspective

As the audience that is aware of Michael's diagnosis continues to expand there are phrases I continue to find peoples response more and more odd. Two of the most common are below:

• I'm sorry
• Did they say to what degree?

So starting with "I'm sorry" - I am sure I would have used this phrase before and I think it is probably the polite thing to say rather than just standing there in shock. Initially, I don't think it struck me as odd but, as we settle into month 5 post-diagnosis I don't think there is anything to be sorry for and I sure don't want people feeling sorry for me.  We have an amazing, fun, loving 2 year-old boy -- that alone is AMAZING! He has provided us with the opportunity to gain a new perspective or rather put things back into the perspective that it belongs.  Out of curiosity since I use the word sorry in my day-to-day life I looked up the definition:

Webster.com Definition:

1: feeling sorrow, regret, or penitence

2: : mournful, sad

3: inspiring sorrow, pity, scorn, or ridicule

 

If I take a closer look at the definitely I know I don't want anyone's pity. There are days were I am mournful of all the goals and dreams that I had created for Michael before he was even born ... although I still hold them close just in case this life takes us places I never thought it would.

So the whole question of mild vs. severe just seems like an odd question to me. Well - and we have no idea. I don't know if we don't have a degree of autism because of his age or what. For now we are just focusing on the improvements we are seeing and hoping to build on them.  I think what strikes me as odd on this one is does it matter? Would you feel worse for me if you he was diagnosed as severly autistic or would you be able to dismiss the diagnosis if it was mild? It just seems like an odd questions because, if I had an answer I have no idea what would be the next response.